It was Date Night. My wife and I were going out to dinner. As usual, though, we couldn’t decide where to eat. We debated for several minutes on which romantic restaurant at 50^th and France we should eat at. It came down to Tejas or Salut. But then Sarah finally weighed in with her true feelings.

“I want to go to Quiznos,” she said. “I don’t want to put real clothes on. You know? I just want a sandwich.   And drink a root beer.”

“I totally agree,” I said relieved. I didn’t want to dress up either. “But it is Date Night. I don’t really want to eat a Sammy at a Quiznos in a strip mall in Richfield.” After several more minutes of debate, we settled on Pepitos. We both ate enchiladas with beans and rice. 

After dinner, we went to that fountain of amore known as Super Target. We needed to shop for Easter candy and birthday gifts for our son. Murphy asked for a huge Wolverine action figure for his birthday. I showed it to Sarah and she grimaced. Wolverine is a legendary Marvel comic character that is known for his extremely hairy muscle bound physique, tenacious brawling, and razor sharp bone claws that eject out of his knuckles. Needless to say, it wasn’t Sarah’s ideal toy for her son. The sole function of the toy is to reenact a mauling and she knew her head would be vulnerable the next time she helped Murphy tie his shoes. But that was what he asked for, so that’s what he was getting. To smooth things over, I reminded Sarah that the super handsome actor Hugh Jackman was playing Wolverine in the upcoming summer blockbuster movie.

“Oh…that’s right…” Sarah said, suddenly intrigued. I grabbed the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly off the nearby magazine rack. There was an awesome picture of the hunky Jackman in character as Wolverine. Sarah’s heart skipped a beat. Jackman’s face was rugged and stern. He wore a tight white tank-top that showcased his rippling muscles. The famous claws were out. 

“Look at his muscles!” She gasped. “He’s just. So. Hot! And those sideburns! And those claws!”

For a few minutes, I was no longer on a date with my wife: Hugh Jackman was now on a date with my wife. Sarah stood there dazed, stared off into the fluorescent lights, and dreamt of being on a date with Hugh Jackman as Wolverine.

Later that evening, after what seemed to be a suspiciously long time hiding our son’s new ‘Jackman’ toy, Sarah came up from the basement and spooned me in bed. Within seconds, she shot out of the covers.

“Oh, my God!” Sarah yelled. She picked at her tongue with her fingers. “I just got some of your back hair in my mouth!”

My poor wife: She day dreams of about having a date with a character named Wolverine. But in reality, she lives with a real animal.