You may have a blue collar job if…

Sleeves are optional. Every working person is granted the freedom to exercise the Second Amendment (the Right to Bare Arms).

There is a can of ‘Ozium-Glycol-ized Air Sanitizer’ is your employee bathroom. When a bathroom smells like burning tires, a gentle ‘Lavender Meadow’ scent wouldn’t come close to performing the odor exorcism that is required.
    

You have a coworker nicknamed ‘Sex Boat’. Also, your colleagues answer to the nicknames: “Ass-Munch,” “Hedge Hog,” “Weinerman,” “The Taint,” “The Tick,” and “Speed Balls”.

As you perform virtually any task, at any location on the business property, you have the capacity to hauk up a loogie and spit it wherever you please.

Your work attire includes one or all of the following…

a.)     A hard hat

b.)    Reflective materials

c.)    A bag of nacho flavored Corn Nuts

d.)    Gold Bond Medicated Powder

e.)    Ear protection

f.)     Fingerless gloves

g.)    The latest issue of ‘Bear Hunter Magazine’ 

You openly consider mainlining Mt. Dew into your bloodstream.

In a three month period, your work issued uniform shirt will bleach out due to extreme sun exposure and grotesque sweating.

 On Monday morning, several of your coworkers show up to work in cabs. This is also known as ‘The Bendermobile.’ When you ask them where their car is they reply, “Somewhere in Burnsville.”

There is a sign in the employee break room that states: Remember, you are here to work.

You spend an entire work day trying to fit dirty words and phrases into conversations you have with management. This includes the following…

a.)    Just the tip

b.)    Donkey Punch

c.)    Paddy McClusky

d.)    Hot Carl

e.)    Feltch

f.)     The Eiffel Tower

You name your tools. I’ve personally used a sledge hammer named ‘Biscuit’ and a machete named ‘The Persuader.’

Your neck looks like this: